That's That.

 

End of 2013 is swiftly approaching. What a crazy year it's been. Do a recap later. Now more than ever the future is uncertain. Sometimes its lonely selling your soul to the devil. But that's that. Make your bed and leave it.

 

Beware of leftovers this holiday season.

 



Slumped

 

Lying there exhausted, too tired to move from the sofa to the bed. Wrapped up in an old blanket and watching reruns of Law and Order SVU. The sun is shining for what seems like forever. It's blinding. Night can't come fast enough. Everything slows down in the dark. What matters in the light of day seems to fade away in the darkness. It eats away and I'm always to blame. Nauseous.

 

Suffocated. 



The Maiden in the Tower

 

The prince, out for a stroll with the royal homies, split from the group to take a piss. Off the beaten path the prince looked for a good place to relieve himself when suddenly a beautiful but eerie sound came in with an easterly breeze. Cursing his aim the prince shook his boot free of a puddle of urine. Intrigued, he parted the bush and ventured towards the source of the mysterious sound.

Deeper into the forest, the canopy was so dense that the prince was stumbling in the dark, listening. Following his ears the prince tripped and stumbled through tangled roots and darkness until he was so close that the sound seemed to be swirling around him in the darkness. He looked upwards towards the highest branches and realized he was standing at the foot of an enormous tower beneath impossibly tall trees. A small light flickered at the top of the tower, from its solitary window.

The prince stood below calling out to the window. He circled the tower finding no door nor stair. All the while the strange sound continued, getting faster and heavier. Higher pitches were now screaming across the woods. Now completely surrounded by darkness at the foot of the tower, the prince saw a shadow dancing on the wall of the room with the flickering light. A terrifying howl, or was it a moan, screeched from the window. The prince, horrified, ran away from the tower realizing where he had heard this sound before. When he was a boy in the hallway outside his parents room.

Again he ran, again with pants soaked in horror.

Dream Salon

Are we really trying so hard to be pretty? It's not like anyone is really paying attention anyways.

Or maybe I'm just completely oblivious anymore and if I focus less on the chaos that has become my life maybe I'll actually notice.

The world outside my chair seems brighter every time I take out the Matrix plugs.

Leftovers

 

Runnin amok! The starving artist exists. Chubby artists are steadily in the mix. Pork on White Bread with a hefty dose of gravy and a slam of mashed potato. Clogs the arteries for the perfect length of time. I feel warm enough and full enough to get up and get mine. Trouble comes when I put a drink in on top and I either spew my guts or get knocked the fuck out. The former provides better contrast on white paper. Especially if I'm chugging Monsters.  Do you mind? I'm tryin to build a kingdom here.

Fur

 

I wont be wearing my fur jackets being in happy cow country. They are in my closet. Waiting for the day I drive off into the white out. It might be sick but I miss Penndot trucks.

Chew

Used love is my favorite love. Left vulnerable we have no choice but to retreat beneath our own scars, succumb to our injuries mental and physical and focus on our woes. There are so many things competing for our attention on a daily basis that often times the last thing we focus on are ourselves. I think selfish is a term that gets a bad rap. I think everyone needs to be more selfish. It's not like we all have time for therapists. Be more selfish.

Hot Pockets.

I've been living in Santa Rosa California for two weeks now. It is exactly how I pictured it minus what I was told about regarding the pizza. It aint half bad.

The West Coast seems to be faster and slower than what I'm used to on the East Coast. Traffic is non stop and I have no idea where all these people are going. They drive fast and rush through yellow lights. I've gone out drinking a few times and people get drunk fast here too. Maybe I'm just slow. I got my first Cali girl number only to find out she was from Oklahoma, which didn't matter anyway cuz apparently it's creepy to leave whispering voicemails at 4 am 3 nights in a row.

After the cross country road trip and my three days in Vegas I literally made it here with $40 in my pocket. Sold my first paintings last week, and I've lined up my first show to be around Christmas so keep an eye out for that shit. I went and did this weird studio walk where artists open their homes and sell plastic wrapped prints out of laundry bins. The art scene is booming out here but I don't really understand that either. A lot of the artists I met yesterday had this weird twitch in their eyes. Or they were glazed over and their forced smiles were twitching. A lot of twitchers.

Everyone out here is a hustler. I think that's my favorite part of this place A lot of cutthroat cowboys and yoga rockin b girls. In the grocery stores here I've witnessed on multiple occasions this thing that I can only really call a yoga bikini. In the frozen food isle I'm alone with my head in a freezer and I pull out and beside me is this girl and her nipples are piercing this thin black fabric while her ass is trembling from the snow coming out of the ice cream cooler. She smiled at me and I immediately shoved my head back into the hot pockets until she walked away.

Hit It & Quit It

Listen to the suave lyrics of the wonderous and jive ridden Funkadelic song, Hit It and Quit It. Get in and pull out while you're winning. Mickey said it best. "Women weaken legs." Even if you got no legs keep movin and funkin cuz the world won't wait.

Ketchup Mustard & Ranch

This August I turned 23, had my largest and fanciest art exhibit to date, got published in the same newspaper as Dave Chappelle, went to Otakon and took pics of hot babes, traveled the road, got tattooed, got rejected, made mistakes, ate way too much lobster, met some great people and a fantastic artist, found out that Maine has a great bar scene, *cough cough* and I failed yet again to drink enough.  Also got lost in the woods for a bit there. Pretty pissed Yolo Yogurt was closed when we got there.

 

September is here and Fall is in the air. Wow that was lame. Anyways I'll be posting more now that I'm settling back in. O wait. Im not. My friends sold their house too. I move to California in 24 days.


Here's the art review

'Pop-Up Exhibition' goes on display at museum's temporary Unity location


Motor on suckas!

Layer Mask

We all see things throughout our lives that shape who we are as an person from that moment on. Sometimes for the good, but most times, these hard experiences change us into something we weren't. We put up the barriers, make the masks, wear the scars. They are there the rest of our lives. Sometimes you can get away with it, sometimes people wont' care. Sometimes people won't notice that you've got this façade shielding you're wounds, covering up, hiding. I notice. I can notice. Cuz I wear the mask too.

@rt 30 Exhibit

Sup yall good shit comin! Today me and Brian installed the Westmoreland @rt30 exhibit and it opens up to the public in two days. Here's a few pics of the show and the super secret casa de la McCall that I felt way too lame to be in. Cheers

Sent a picture of this place to my mom and she said "You need that." Ya I kinda agree, my lungs hurt from painting like a weirdo in my basement.

 

I got completely blown out of the water by this dude. My horrible phone pictures do them no justice, chief example is those legs, they are so sexy in person that you wont even notice my pale pasty swimsuit model next to it. Plus his girls have bush bulge. Which, as you should know, I love.

 

Here's a link to Westmoreland's page for the show.

https://www.facebook.com/events/159109647587737/?notif_t=plan_user_joined

Here's where you can check out Brian's work

https://www.facebook.com/BrianAllenMcCall?fref=ts

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianmccall/

 

See ya next week.

Westmoreland

 

It's official! The press has been released and I can finally show you guys a sample of what's to come.

On August 9, 2013, myself, along with Brian McCall, and Joe Wos invite you to the first ever Pop Up Exhibition at the Westmoreland Museum of American Art. Brian and Joe are both incredible artists and I am stoked to show alongside them.

I'm going in hard on this one. Shooting to have nearly 100 new paintings and sketches for the show that are all completely different then what you've seen me do to date. It's a culmination of everything that's happened and how I've progressed over the past year. Everything's been leading up to this and I can guarantee that this will be my craziest work yet.

So in the interim, forgive me for being distant and probably being a bit on edge, I haven't been sleeping much. I'll keep you up to speed on further press releases and details about the show as I get them. You can also keep an eye out on the Westmoreland site,

http://www.wmuseumaa.org/museum/exhibitions.cfm
 

Leading the Trampede.

 

The ladies walk right past me and I catch a scent off their overpowering perfumes. The different fragrances mixing together in the air like a martini shaker at a dive bar, set to knock me on my ass upon closer inspection. I go in anyway.

 

I have a hard time talking with women. Not all of them but when I'm intersted in knowing more about a girl I'm very shy. It has to do with how infrequently I'm attracted to anyone anymore. I love people dont get it twisted but it has been a long time since I felt the urge to pursue a relationship on a more romantic level. Maybe I'm just kidding myself and the real reason I have a hard time with relationships is because I'm impossible to deal with. Maybe it has nothing to do with my shyness its just how ungodly stupid I can be.

 

That's when I say fuck it and sleep with the big girls cuz its more fun anyways.

 





Doritos

When I was in eigth grade I was "dating" this chick who I only ever saw on the school bus. She lived within a mile of me and not only did I never even have her phone number (granted back then neither of us had cell phones but still we could have called eachothers house) we hardly ever hung out besides those 20 minute rides to school in the morning and the 20 minutes on the ride home.

I don't remember how long we went on like this and christ I cant even remember how long we were the hot item of the bus. Regardless, everytime she would get up and prepare to get off the bus at her house I'd hug her goodbye and sometimes kiss her lips. Back then that was a lot for me. I had the hottest chick on the bus and I was kissing her in front of a bus load of horny high school kids.

Then one day it all changed. She was eating leftovers from her lunch bag, prolly a whole bunch of different shit like nutty butters and skittles and sunny d but one food remained in my memory for the rest of my life. She was eating a bag of Doritos. When our last 20 minutes of the bus ride were coming to a close she was licking the remaing Doritos dust off her fingers and stashing the empty bag in her backpack. Before the bus could stop at her house she laughed at something I said and grabbed my face and pulled me below the seat so we couldnt be seen by the other kids and she kissed me like she had never kissed me before. Her wet tongue jammed into my mouth and rubbed across my teeth and gums, then tangled with my virgin tongue, all the while leaving a snail trail of Dorito slime across all surfaces of my mouth. I retched but kept it under control until she released me from her kiss and got up and left the bus. I didnt sit with her after that and we broke up soon after. I also never ate Doritos again.

Until yesterday.

I was at a house party chillin with a lot of great people, good food, and good drinks. I was drinkin pretty hard, tryin to figure shit out in my head. Dangerous thoughts for any drunk person. It had been that kind of week. I got a handle of it and I was sitting on a couch playing some card game with the homies all the while chowing on the chips and salsa laid out in front of me. One of my friends leans over and asks me if I realized what I was eating. He has known me for the past few years and had seen on multiple occasions my violent reaction to being forced to try Doritos, seen me avoid the chip isle because my revulsion, seen me eat at the KFC side of the split KFC/Taco Bells becasuse of that Dorito taco craze going on right now. He asked if I knew that I was eating Doritos. I had no idea.

All the memories from a time where I enjoyed the chip came rushing back in a moment. Nearly a decade of avoidance due to trauma on my part cost me the enjoyment and friendship of a truly beautiful snack. It was that easy. I was free.

The Dorito inncident all those years ago in the sticky fumblings of a 20 minute bus ride cost me nearly a decade of flavor. All it took for me to get my life back was a choice. A choice to try something new in front of me, taking a risk, enjoying the time I spend now, how I choose too. After my friend told me I was eating what for a decade was forbidden I was surprised at how I reached for more, tried cool ranch, tried original, continuing to crush it all.

Then today I made the connection. It was never about the Doritos. Aside from the disgust I felt at having someone elses chewed food all through my own mouth, any one of my favorite snacks could have been ruined that day. It was Doritos and for almost a decade of my life I forbade myself from something that I once enjoyed. It seems so silly now to write off things in your life from simply one bad experience, never giving second chances, never compromising. How oblivious I have been and limiting because of past experiences. I can apply this feeling to most aspects of my life be it love, friendships, work, or food. To make a conscious decision to never eat Doritos again, never love again, never walk down that alley again, never try a new book, it's incredibly limiting and exhausting. I missed out on so much already because of fear, paranoia, or stupidity. It's something I challenge within myself daily and this recent battle left me with a small victory.

I never know whats going to happen and I love that. Im down for the ride even more now then ever, and now you may even catch me with a bag of Doritos riding shotgun.

 

Fuck Swag.