Wake up. Check phone. Smoke cigarette. Say hello to friends. Drive to coffee. Paint. Eat something. Drive to house. Nap. Wake up. Watch TV. Drink. Eat something. Nap. Drive to studio. Talk to who listens. Listen. Sleep. Wake up.
Didn't realize that I was flooding my sober mind this whole time. There's just too much noise that I can't hear my thoughts anymore. Don't function well alone. My mom told me that when I was young and I didn't believe her. She's never been wrong. Sharpness is blurred. It's similar to waking up and going through the morning routine without realizing you haven't put your glasses on. My own fault. What I once thought was fun and exciting now seems necessary if not unavoidable. I can't produce to the level I did six, four, or even one month ago. It's not a block. It's more of a bottle that's endless and I can't find footing on the bottom. Just keep sinking.